Earlier this week, Alec Baldwin proved that it’s impossible for him to open his mouth without verbally vomiting some sort of anti-LGBT slur—or avoid some sort of metaphorical vomiting, period. At the dawn of the week of February 25, the “30 Rock” star revealed in a lengthy, 5000-word cover article for New York Magazine, that he’d be severing ties with his public life as a star, still defending his anti-LGBT stance.
In the article, Baldwin took a moment to address the slur (that he swears never came from his mouth, even though TMZ captured it on video), stating, “I could do some mea culpa, write them a six-figure check, go to a dinner, sob at the table, give a heartfelt speech, beg for forgiveness. [But] I thought to myself: ‘Beg for forgiveness for something I didn’t do?’”
Right. Coming from the guy who, not even three hundred words into the long-winded article, dropped the line: “One young man, an F-to-M tranny, said…” What was that you were saying about the lack of anti-LGBT slurs? Oh, yeah. No one really believed or cared—or cared enough to believe. Whatever.
It’s uncomfortably easy to imagine Baldwin having penned this horrible excuse of a defense attempt while Rihanna’s “Unapologetic” album looped in the background. It certainly fits the theme, as Baldwin used his generous chunk of white space as a moment to criticize other celebrities instead of focusing on his own idiotic public mistakes.
He also bashed, among others, Phil Griffin, the head of MSNBC, at which Baldwin was the host of an extremely short-lived MSNBC show. Baldwin also highlighted news show host Rachel Maddow as having involvement in his MSNBC firing, following the gay slur that he “never said.”
“I think Rachel Maddow is quite good at what she does,” he declared. “I also think she’s a phony who doesn’t have the same passion for the truth off-camera that she seems to have on the air.”
Unimpressed with the spiraling actor’s rant, many took to Twitter to bring to light what just about everyone in America must surely be thinking.
Editor Gerard Perry tweeted that he was reminded of “the episode of ‘The Simpsons’ when Alec Baldwin moves to Springfield. Very timely.” Another Twitter user wrote, “Thank you, Alex Baldwin, for spreading awareness of rich, attractive, talented, famous people and their horrible, tragic plight.”
Affirming the beliefs of the “Tweeple,” an article in the Daily Beast noted, “Baldin is inexplicably able to utter homophobic slurs and still get acting parts, and is simultaneously given the opportunity to write long, windy articles for reputable magazines that say absolutely nothing.”
Because ultimately, this article was really a whole lot of just that…absolutely nothing. So, here’s to turning over a new leaf in the LGBT universe—one where Baldwin doesn’t exist.
Not publicly, at least.