Archie set to die the most perfect liberal death imaginable

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Archie Andrews, the freckle-faced ginger synonymous with wholesome Americana since 1941, is about to meet his maker. On Wednesday, the comic icon will die while taking a bullet for his gay best friend.

Life with Archie No. 36 will feature the tragedy in a “double sized commemorative issue.” Other incarnations of Archie will live on in spin-off series, and he will undoubtedly haunt Life with Archie No. 37, which will fast-forward a year to his grieving gang in Riverdale. 

“The way in which Archie dies is everything that you would expect of Archie,” said Jon Goldwater, Archie Comics publisher and co-CEO. “He dies heroically. He dies selflessly. He dies in the manner that epitomizes not only the best of Riverdale but the best of all of us. It’s what Archie has come to represent over the past almost 75 years.”

Archie will die while intervening in an assassination attempt on Kevin Keller, a gay senator pushing for stricter gun control. Martyrdom has never been more progressive.

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