A live-action Tetris movie is coming soon

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Following the staggering success of The Lego Movie, which earned almost $70 million its opening weekend, maybe it’s no surprise that other games are getting the Hollywood treatment. But…Tetris?

Threshold Entertainment, which takes pride in having turned Mortal Kombat into a film, has partnered with the Tetris Company to produce a movie based on the iconic game that involves progressively faster-falling blocks. 

“It’s a very big, epic sci-fi movie,” Threshold CEO Larry Kasanoff told the Wall Street Journal. He assuages our fears by saying, “This isn’t a movie with a bunch of lines running around the page. We’re not giving feet to the geometric shapes.” 

The film will be live-action, although the cast is not yet in place. In fact, not much is in place right now, except the plot. Kasanoff cannot emphasize enough that it will be epic: “What you [will]see in Tetris is the teeny tip of an iceberg that has intergalactic significance.” 

While I’m not sure what that means, he’ll be tasked to outdo fan-made trailers that have already imagined what Tetris would be like as a movie. 

Black20 Studios imagines that it will be a fusion of Gladiator and Transformers: warriors pilot Tetris pieces in a deadly spectator sport; in the arena, a hero may be born. 

Warialasky takes a different approach: Tetris pieces are invaders from outer space, wreaking havoc and destruction. 

Either way, Kasanoff proclaims unabashedly that “brands are the new stars of Hollywood.”

Since films capitalizing on our childhood have already semi-exhausted Marvel and DC comic’s arsenal, it seems video games are the next frontier. Perhaps in the future Bop It, Pong, and Ribbon Dancers will be reborn as epics of intergalactic significance as well.

To quote the New York Times, “Branding may have finally reached its Mannerist phase.” The day may be approaching when it’ll be commonplace to find ourselves “weeping over a 90-minute infomercial.”

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