This week, Jehovah’s Witness leader Anthony Morris III heroically confronts the greatest evil of our time: “tight pants.” (His words. Seriously.)
In a sleepy sermon recently uploaded to YouTube, Morris defines “tight pants” as Spanx-esque exercise pants and men’s slim-fit trousers blasphemously paired with similarly tight suit jackets. He claims to have interviewed scads of women, all of whom find the “metrosexual” look unappealing; at this point, he concludes that the look must be designed and engineered by homosexual men who “like you in tight pants.” Throughout, he urges his followers to wear something, anything else.
To sum up those four minutes of drivel: According to Morris, women in yoga pants and men wearing anything that are “tight all the way down to the ankles” are inappropriate and unsound of mind.
Let’s not tell him about skinny jeans. Or, for that matter, Will Ferrell.