Anywhere But Here


“Then everything went cold, as though all the happiness had gone from the world.” 

-Mrs. Figg, “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”

We feel you, Mrs. Figg, we feel you so hard. For roughly half of America, last night’s “Black Mirror” like election results created a feeling of total and utter destruction, inside and out. You may have found yourself sludging through your daily routine in a clouded haze of shame and betrayal, not knowing what to do or where to go, well here’s an idea: Lets go to Mars.

Nothing says #notmypresident, like literally ghosting on your own damn planet.

Last month, Elon Musk and SpaceX announced their plans to colonize Mars with the unveiling of the Interplanetary Transport System, or ITS.  The plan is still in the works but the basic logistics are there. Musk’s ultimate goal is to make humans a multi planetary species, creating an alternate safe haven for when humanity inevitably shits the bed, leaving Earth uninhabitable.

As of now, a trip to the red planet would cost you around $10 billion, if that sounds a little steep, that’s because it totally is. But with the construction of ITS, the gigantic rocket would be able to utilize a reusable fuel source using ultra light carbon fiber fuel tanks that could detach from the rocket itself, fly back to base to load up on fuel, then fly back up to top off the rocket in time for their decent to Mars. Once ITS is functional and ready to use, Musk estimates a trip to be just $200,000. This is so much more complicated than it sounds, but like I said, clouded haze of shame and betrayal…

Here’s a simple yet, detailed diagram of the SpaceX ITS vision.

The ITS would be capable of transporting over 100 passengers during the three month long trip (also known as 1/16 of an American presidential term.) SpaceX is planning another run through in 2018 and every 27 months after, when Earth and Mars are at their closest points, until all the kinks are worked out. Musk’s hopeful estimate puts a functioning Mars civilization at 40-100 years but with the support, energy and resources of 59,649,606 people (see: popular vote,) this could be a reality much sooner than we think.

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