AI May Be Close to Running the World, But It Has No Conception of Christmas

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How would you describe the Judeo-Capitalistic ritual of Christmas to someone who’s never, ever heard of it, in one sentence or less?

It’s not a task you’d ever think you could come up against–who doesn’t, at least vaguely, know what Christmas is?

The answer is robots. Robots don’t know what the hell Christmas is. To prove this beyond a shadow of a doubt, take a listen to this improvised “Christmas Carol” created by an AI “neutral karaoke” device:

Fairy tales? A hundred and a half hours? Flowers?! What is this, Denmark?

Suffice it to say the spirit of Christmas is lost on this poor, bewildered AI Scrooge. I mean at least Scrooge understood what Christmas was and chose to ignore it–this machine is just straight up lost. It accessed 100 hours of Christmas music and somehow failed to incorporate any of the aspects of the nativity, Jesus, peace on earth, good will toward men, shopping, or Santa Claus. So what does that tell us about machine intelligence? Nothing we didn’t already know.

Next time we need to teach a robot something about Christmas, we suggest showing it the profound, soul-searching explanation offered by the classic 1965 film, A Charlie Brown Christmas. And if that still doesn’t do it, it’s truly a lost cause.

About The Author

Henry Giardina is FourTwoNine's Senior Editor

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