In Other News: Straight Guys are All Gay

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For centuries, scholars, poets and philosophers have grappled with the same pressing question:

As a straight guy, how many guys do you have to fuck before you’re officially gay?

Of course we could start throwing out numbers, but they would prove nothing. Trying to pinpoint the exact number of hookups it takes to qualify as full time gay vs bisexual or straight-ish is as pointless and exhausting as trying to find the number of licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop. Though God knows we’ve tried.

Some might accept it a question without an answer. But not us. We take the tough questions the universe throws at us and think: Hey, that’s what science is for!

Luckily, we’re not alone. The good people at Northwestern University (two good people to be exact) have just published a study on the ever-fluctuating sexuality of men who identify as straight, but hook up with guys. The findings reveal…well, everything you’d expect. Mostly that straight guys are a bit more sexually flexible than even they might be aware of–and, oh yeah, they’re huge sluts.

Big surprise.

Check out the full study here, and make sure you’re wearing soft pants.

About The Author

Henry Giardina is FourTwoNine's Senior Editor

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