To all those who have not-so-nice things to say about Ariana Grande I will this day and each and every day forth present the following evidence of her majestic divinity:
The video for “Everyday”.
For it is within this magnificent text that we find, at last, the true artistic intentions of this often obtuse artist. And those intentions are to sit on top of a dryer in a puffy coat encouraging people to have all out, public-ass sex while horrified spectators look on helplessly agog.
Despite all her lyrics about hair pulling and being manhandled, it’s taken a bit of time for most of us to adjust to Ariana Grande’s transition from Disney star to Barbarella-style baby doll sex icon. It happened sometime in 2012 and no one was really prepared, and since that time it’s been pretty hard to view Ariana Grande as anything but a wildly uncomfortable contradiction in terms.
That is, until today, and the release of “Everyday.” It’s pretty damn erotic. And it puts Grande in a strange, almost pervy position of love goddess spurring everyone around her to commit heinous acts of sexy sex (much like that weird Pan-worshipping lady in season two of True Blood.) While she talks about getting rawed every day by her man.
Now if all of that doesn’t sound like the gayest gayness ever, I don’t know what is!
Congratulations, Ari. You’ve officially made it into the Gay Pantheon.