Listen, the holidays can be a wonderful, positive thing. They can be joyful and exciting and filled with people you’ve been longing to see all year.
But for a lot of us, they can be excruciating, tedious, and filled with people we’ve been happy to avoid all year.
If you find yourself in the latter bracket of experience-or really anywhere in between the two, you’ll probably need some coping mechanisms to lean on. Thankfully, we’re here for you with some creative strategies for surviving the holidays in one piece. And no, ‘get drunk’ is not one of them-though that’s never hurt anyone’s chances.
Do a time-consuming, elaborate craft project
Ever made your own Christmas cards? Well, now might be the time to start, if you’ve found yourself stuck by the fireplace watching your parents knit. Get out some glitter, construction paper, and Elmer’s Glue and get the fuck to it!
Make your own Chartreuse
Keep obsessively checking Alison Bechdel’s blog for updates
Ever since Thanksgiving (and the election of horrors) the gift from god/brilliant shining human/Fun Home author Alison Bechdel (usually silent on the blog front) has been quietly updating her legendary Dykes to Watch Out For cartoon strip, which ran for decades up until the end of the Bush Era. Now Bechdel finds herself plunged back into a simulacrum of politically chaotic world that Dykes sprung out of- only oh, SO much worse. She’s truly a light of hope and beauty in these horrible, dark times. And while you’re at it, give the transcendent Fun Home and Are You My Mother? another read. Seriously, do it. The tears you cry will be the happiest and most hopeful you’ll have cried in a while.
Keep running to the store for ‘ingredients’
We’re out of egg nog, you say? Or whiskey? Or capers? Or industrial-strength dental floss? Or…oh never mind what it is, I’LL GET IT!
Give your childhood bedroom a mini-makeover
Dust off the ol’ shelves, unearth all the books you’ve been meaning to take home with you, and put the stuffed animal you used to masturbate with in a slightly less prominent place. You’ll feel good about it.